


Is He or Isn't He?

by corruptedkid



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, THIS IS!!! SO OOC!!! GOOD LORD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-20 19:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3661797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corruptedkid/pseuds/corruptedkid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Egbert is a high school sophomore with a hopeless crush on his classmate, Dave. The only things that divide them are popularity, and, well... the fact that Dave isn't gay. However, Jade, John's sister, says otherwise. At Jade's insistence, John forges a cautious friendship with Dave. But the one thing left unclear is, is he interested?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [veiku](https://archiveofourown.org/users/veiku/gifts).



His hair was pale blond, sweeping across his forehead in a neat line. The edges of his bangs stopped at the lower region of his cheeks. They mostly covered his thick eyebrows, but when they were visible, his sarcasm was expressed to the nth degree in their various motions. Much was surely to be said about his eyes, but it was not sure if anyone had ever seen them. He wore dark sunglasses every day, inside or outside, no matter what. This could be considered weird, or pretentious, and it probably would be if he weren’t so goddamn attractive. And he was. So attractive. His name was Dave Strider, and John Egbert was hopelessly in love. 

John was a pale boy of 15, short for his age, with black hair and glasses. He knew Dave was out of his league, but that didn’t stop him from staring at him in every class. John was lucky enough to be seated diagonally from him in English, and he used this opportunity to his every advantage. Usually, Dave had a resting expression of boredom. But on some rare occasions, if someone said something funny, or if a teacher noted something important, John could see flashes of interest or maybe even of a smile cross Dave’s face. He lived for those moments.

Unfortunately, it was pretty definite that Dave was straight. He’d never shown attraction to a guy before, and though he may just have been hiding it, it seemed unlikely that he would be interested in boys. Besides, his sister was gay, and, well, what were the chances of two in a family?

Every day John would sit by Dave and imagine what it would be like to run his fingers through that smooth blond hair. To kiss him. Of course, he never expected anything to really happen between them. They were just daydreams. But god, were they enticing. John idly picked at a scrap of cardboard coming off the cover of his textbook. The corners of his mouth turned up briefly in a small smile. Dave’s hands looked strong, yet soft. They would be so nice to hold… 

“Hey John, you coming?” laughed a voice. It belonged to his sister, Jade. They were the same age, and shared most classes. She paid a lot more attention than he did. Perhaps this was due to the absence of gay fantasies and presence of work ethic in her. He wondered what it was like. 

“John, get up. I’ve got to get to physics and I don’t want to be late, but we need to walk together,” she scolded him. They walked to every class they could together, and were as close as siblings could be. They hardly ever fought over anything significant. 

As he put his papers away in his binder, John’s heart sank. He had chemistry next, which was one of the classes he didn’t share with Dave. 

Which was probably a good thing. Otherwise he’d never be passing. 

John got up quickly before Jade would have to remind him once more that there were things to do in school besides stare at hot boys. Stuffing his binder into his bag, he followed her out the door. 

“So has the back of Dave’s head gotten any more interesting since the first day you gazed upon it?” Jade inquired as they navigated the halls.

“You’re one to talk, you have a crush on Karkat,” John, replied, scooting out of someone’s way. 

Jade poked his cheek. “No I don’t, and don’t change the subject. I know that once you attract a young gay nerd such as yourself, he cannot be stopped. Even if the object of his affections is a total dork with a shitty webcomic.”

“It’s ironic,” John replied, used to this argument.

“Have you read it, John?” Jade laughed. “It’s awful. I don’t know what’s worse, the comic itself or that he seems actually invested in it.”

“I seem to have gone suddenly deaf and I can’t hear anything you’re saying. Wow. This truly is a tragedy.”

“You’re a dork.”

“I’ll never hear again!”

Jade sighed, and switched angles. “Well, if you like him that much, why don’t you just talk to him?”

John put on an expression of mock concentration, and began to count on his fingers. “One, the social ladder exists, and I am not on a high rung. There is a magical barrier separating us known as popularity, and I have no choice but to look on from below.” He put up another finger. “Two, he has no interest in talking to me. He likes rap and webcomics and irony. I like movies and magic and pranks. I know enough about romance to know that having a complete lack of common interests is a bad sign.”

Jade protested. “I’m sure you two could find some – 

“I’m not done yet! Three, if we did talk, it would be like, ‘Hey. Sup. You’re that one guy, from that one class, right? Ok bye.’ Cue embarrassment and no later conversation. Four! He’s not gay. And finally, five. Is this your business? Wow, oh my god! It actually isn’t!” 

Jade patted his shoulder. “Oh, come on. I’m sure you’d get along fine. And besides, you don’t know he’s straight. I seem to recall a certain homosexual valiantly declaring “I am not a homosexual” every day of eighth grade, hmm…”

“That’s different,” John said, stressing the second word. “I think if he was, he would have come out by now. Everyone would accept him anyway, so why would he still hide it?”

“I could say the same thing about you!” Jade said, exasperated. “Ok, fine. If you’re so determined to believe you don’t have a chance, you do that. But since I am a loving sister, and an amazing wingwoman if I do say so myself, I’m going to do some investigating.”

“What does that mean?” John said apprehensively. Jade was the only one who knew about his sexuality, and he didn’t want her revealing it to anyone.

“Investi-gay-ting. Ahh? Ahhh?” Jade smiled widely. John cringed and shook his head. Jade shook hers as well, still smiling. 

“You know you love the puns. As for what I mean, you’ll find out soon enough!” Jade gave him a quick smile before darting into the physics room, leaving John standing there, confused.

And also late for class. 

He startled as the bell rang, and scrambled to get to chemistry before he was marked absent. The halls were mostly clear of people now, with only the certain few who had completely given up on their academic careers left wandering the halls. He glanced around of any adults before quacking his pace to a light run. In order to get to class on time at this point, he probably would have needed to sprint. But rules were rules, so no running. If you run you might just accidentally – 

And with that thought, he ran smack into someone.

“Oh, crap! Sorry!” John blurted as he fumbled to keep his bag in his hands. 

“It’s fine, my fault,” replied the boy he had run into. John looked up and had to keep himself from dropping his things right then and there. 

Dave Strider, in all his tall, cool glory, stood before him, looking mildly surprised. 

John mentally smacked himself repeatedly as he stood and stared at Dave. “Anyway, sorry, I should get to class,” he stammered, feeling his cheeks grow hot. Oh god, this was embarrassing. 

“You’re John, right?” You never really realize how important it is to see eyes until you can’t, John thought. Without being able to see them it was always a bit difficult to gauge emotion in Dave’s casual expression. However, in his voice… Was that a note of interest John heard? He tried unsuccessfully to control his heart rate. Dave knew his name. He knew John existed. Could this be a dream?

“Yeah! You’re Dave.” Crap, that sounded too certain. “Right?” John quickly added.

“Mhm. Cool. See you in English, ten. Then,” Dave corrected himself. He nodded thoughtfully. Then, giving John a quick smile, he walked off in the other direction.

John stared after him. He stood stock still until Dave was out of sight. Had that been real? Dave had known his name, and the main class they shared? Could there be hope? John made a halfhearted attempt to quell his rising spirits, but gave up quickly. Once Dave was out of sight, a grin spread across his face. Maybe Jade was right. Maybe John would talk to him some time soon. 

The second bell rang, marking John officially tardy, but as he walked back to the office to get a late pass, there was a spring in his step. He didn’t care anymore. He was head over heels for Dave Strider, who likely was completely uninterested in him, and it was amazing. 

He was so screwed.


	2. Chapter 2

“Good news, bro!”

“Please don’t say ‘bro.’” John said without looking up. “What is it?”

Jade pulled up a chair and sat on the other end of his desk, across from him. “Do you remember how yesterday I said I was going to do some investigating? And prove that Dave isn’t as cool and untouchable as you seem to think he is?”

“The incident followed by a horrible pun and me worrying you were going to do something stupid? I vaguely recall it,” John replied. “What did you do?”

Jade giggled. “Define ‘something stupid.”

“Jade, what did you do?”

Jade patted his hand. “Relax. I just talked to Rose to see if I could get anything out of her.”

John looked up sharply. “You talked to Rose? What did you say?” 

Rose was Dave’s sister, and had a reputation for her cool demeanor, as well as her happy relationship with another girl. Jade insisted she was nice once you got to know her, and admittedly she would know better, as she shared several classes with Rose. But John wasn’t sure he was comfortable with her knowing he had a crush on her brother. 

“Nothing suspicious. I just said, ‘hey Rose, I’ve got something on my mind. Dave seems pretty secretive. Could he be hiding something, like, say, a chronic attraction to men?’” Jade paused at the look on John’s face. “Don’t worry. I kinda made it sound like I might have a crush on him. You know I don’t, obviously, but I didn’t say anything that would point to you.”

“Are you sure?” John said nervously. Jade was not a master of the art of subtlety. 

“Yes, I’m sure. Rose is a tough one, though. She didn’t let anything slip. She just said if we wanted to know anything about that we should talk to Tavros,” Jade said, sounding a bit confused. 

“Tavros?” John said, equally puzzled. “What would he have to do with it?”

Jade shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe he tried to ask Dave out or something? He’s bi, so that could be true.”

“He’s with Gamzee now, though… Right?” John asked, a strange note entering his voice.

“Yeah. But you don’t have anything to worry about. I’m pretty sure Dave wouldn’t be interested in Tav even if he is gay,” Jade said with a smile. “So do you think we should talk to him?”

John furrowed his brow. “Uh, yeah. I guess so.”

“Great! I’ll meet you after school and we track him down in the hall,” Jade said cheerfully. 

John opened his mouth to reply, but she had dragged her chair away and was already chatting lightheartedly with a group of friends. John sighed. He had a bad feeling that this was not going to turn out well. 

 

Until the end of the school day, John had managed to forget about Jade’s plan. Unfortunately, she cornered him directly after his last class to remind him.

“So we’re gonna find Tav, and we’re gonna ask him if he knows anything about Dave, like if he likes anybody (and make it sound like I’m the one asking. You can just pretend you don’t want to be there), and then I’m gonna guide the conversation until I can ask if he’s gay or anything. Ok? Does that sound good?”

John bit his lip. “Yeah, I know the drill. Just don’t be too obvious, or get up in his face. I kinda feel like this might make him uncomfortable.”

“It’s ok! I know Tav. He used to have a crush on me, remember?” Ignoring the no-I-actually-don’t-remember-wait-what look on John’s face, Jade continued. “But we’re cool! I’m sure he won’t mind.”

Jade took hold of John’s hand and squeezed it. “Don’t worry. I can’t explain, but I just know everything is going to turn out perfect.”

John decided not to voice his concerns that the opposite was going to happen, and let Jade continue searching the crowd for a familiar hairstyle and slumping posture.

“Ooh! Ooh! There he is. Come on, John, before he leaves!” Jade let go of John’s hand and slipped through the crowd towards Tavros. 

John let her go ahead, and watched as Jade approached the other boy. She tapped his shoulder, and must have startled him, as he jumped. But soon they smiled at each other and engaged in conversation. Jade glanced back at John. “Come on!” she mouthed at him.

As John grew closer, he could hear Jade complaining about her slow brother, and telling Tavros to “just ignore him”. He might have been offended if he hadn’t known Jade was acting. 

He stepped up and stood behind Jade, nodding to Tavros with an embarrassed grin. He nodded back, before turning his attentions back to Jade. 

‘So, uh, yeah… I heard that you might know something about Dave? Like, I don’t have a reason for wanting to know, I’m just such a gossip.” Jade laughed a high, fake-sounding laugh. John had to be impressed. She was even bad at being subtle when pretending to be bad at being subtle. Or was she just a remarkably good actress? He silently debated with himself on this matter while Jade continued speaking.

“So, um. Would you happen to know if Dave… Like, likes anybody?” Jade said shyly. 

Tavros hesitated. “Well… Jade, no offense, but, uh, if you’re interested in him, I, uh, don’t really know if he’d reciprocate.” John felt bad for him, seeing how guilty he looked. 

Jade looked crestfallen. “Oh… Does he like someone else, then?”

“No, I don’t think so, but, uh,” Tavros blushed. “I don’t know if I should tell you this, um…”

Jade looked down sadly, before glancing up, puppy dog eyes turned to maximum. “Oh… Okay,” she said softly. It was odd hearing her sound so depressed. Usually she was so happy. This thought must have occurred to Tavros as well, because he opened his mouth to speak once more.

“Well, I just… One time I was, uh, talking to him and, uh, it was just… It was a little weird. He was probably joking, but um, he said some things, that could be interpreted, as not really having an interest in, uh, girls?” he finished nervously. “I don’t know. He was probably joking. But no, I don’t think he likes anybody, that I’m aware of. So, uh, good luck? If you like him I’d say, uh, go for it!”

Jade gave him a small smile. “Thanks, Tav. Wish me luck!” She turned to John, beaming. She waved goodbye to Tavros before linking arms with John triumphantly. 

“What about that!” she said, glancing at him encouragingly. “Like I said, I really doubt Dave would ever like Tavros, and he’s taken anyway! So I think you have a chance, bro!”

This thought had been occurring to John as well. And this might as well settle it, he thought. He was going to talk to Dave soon. Maybe even tomorrow. Not give anything away, of course, but try to establish a friendship at least. And maybe it could grow into something more, if Dave did turn out to be… 

John looked at Jade with a smile.

“Please don’t say ‘bro.’”


	3. Chapter 3

John tapped his pencil lightly against the top of his desk, glancing up every few seconds. It was fourth period English, and if he was going to talk to Dave, now would be the ideal time. The chatter of his classmates was loud enough to drown out any conversation they might have, Dave seemed unoccupied, and if John did anything embarrassing Dave’s friends would be there to wipe John out of his memory. 

He guessed it was now or never. 

Sliding his chair back, John took a deep breath. He’d already made a first impression, and though it wasn’t the best, it could have been worse. The thought of their first meeting gave him hope. At least he knew Dave knew his name. As he stood up he saw Jade glance at him from across the room and give him a wink. 

John pulled his chair over to Dave’s desk, and looked up with a nervous smile. He really hoped Dave was looking back. Those shades of his could be so infuriating. 

Dave popped an earbud out of his right ear. “Hey, John.”

“Hi, Dave!” John said, with excitement that was not normally warranted after being greeted so casually. “Sorry I bumped into you the other day.”

“It’s cool. My fault.” Up so close, John could see the lightest dusting of freckles across Dave’s pale cheeks. He was pretty sure his own had to be a fantastic shade of red by now. Even so, he was determined to make this interaction successful. He searched for a topic of conversation. 

“So, uh… What are you up to?” John said lamely. 

“Nothing much. So I got this film project I gotta do for media, ight? I mean – right?’’

John nodded. He had considered taking media himself, and had seen a few upperclassmen around the school shooting videos already. 

Dave sighed. “Well, we got like, no instruction on it. All Nitram told us to do was choose an ‘abstract concept’ and base a project around it. And everyone has an idea except me.” 

John could relate to this. If he were given directions as vague as that, he would probably be in the same situation as Dave was. Still, he felt pressed to help in any way he could.

“Well, what is everyone else doing?” John tried. “Maybe we can think of something based on that.” A thrill was sent through his heart at the word ‘we’. It had come so naturally, yet felt so bold.

“Well, Rose is doing l…light. Which is like, the opposite of what I expected. You’d think she’d be doing something all el-eldritch and stuff, right? Nope. The other day I saw her shooting with a filter through our window. At the sunrise. All hipster. I was like yo, what’re you doing? And she was like, I’m creating a goddamn masterpiece. It’s 5 in the morning and I’m living on coffee, leave the artist to her work, and I was like ok just don’t film me sleeping or any weird shit like that and she was like why would I… yeah.” Dave looked embarrassed. “But, yeah. I think Terezi’s doing mind? Or something like that. And this senior I know did souls when he did this thing.”

John thought for a moment. “Well, now we have a better idea of what we’re looking for… What if you tried thinking of what you really wanted to do, to accomplish, and how you want it to look before you think of a theme?” he suggested. “Figure out what you want to say first. Then base everything around that.”

Dave looked at him, surprised. “That’s a good idea. All I really know is I want to put in some cool beats, though.” 

“That’s a start!” John said encouragingly. “What do you want it to look like, visually I mean?”

Dave paused. “Uh… I don’t really know. Maybe have some stuff here at the school? A little black and white? I think I might wanna get some crowd shots and close-ups on certain students. May-maybe?”

John smiled. “Sounds like you’ve got a plan.”

The corner of Dave’s mouth turned up slightly. “Yeah, I guess so.” 

They sat in silence for a few moments. Dave was the one to speak first. 

“So, uh… You seem pretty good at this stuff. Why didn’t you take media?”

John shrugged. “My dad wants me on a more academic track. I think he wants me to go into business like him. I kinda wish I’d taken it now…”

“Oh! Uh, if you wanted to, you – well, do you think you could help me with my project?” Dave asked, keeping his tone light and casual. “You could meet me after s-school or something.”

John did an internal dance of joy. This was going much better than he had anticipated. “Yeah! That’d be great!” He replied, biting back a huge smile. 

Suddenly interrupting John’s moment of triumph, the bell rang. It occurred to John what a harsh, annoying sound the bell made. Why couldn’t periods be longer? he wondered. 

Dave began packing up his things, but nodded at John before he went to stand up. “So, I can’t do stuff today, I’m busy after school… But do you want to try and do something at my house tomorrow?”

“Yeah!” John said, then went silent, simply staring happily up at Dave. The blond boy laughed, and re-inserting his earbuds, he was gone. 

John sat there for a moment, blissfully reliving the conversation, but was jostled out of his reverie by the last bell. He supposed he should get moving. He didn’t want to be late twice in a span of three days.

As he gathered his bag hurriedly, Jade came up to him, looking very excited. She waited for him to speak, but when he didn’t, she just had to say something. 

“Oh my god!” she burst out. “Did you and Dave just talk?”

John blushed and nodded silently, swinging his bag over his shoulder and quickly exiting the classroom. Jade followed close behind.

“So, how did it go?” she gushed. 

“Really well, actually,” John admitted. 

Jade squealed. “Oh, I knew it! You guys are so perfect together!”

“Shut up, we aren’t together,” John rolled his eyes. ‘We just made plans to hang out at his house tomorrow…” he continued, his voice trailing into a mumble.

“Oh my god!” Jade’s mouth opened wide. “Oh, he is so gay. You’re going to have such beautiful babies.” 

“Jade –

John cut himself off, almost bumping into someone. He had a sudden sense of déjà vu. 

“So I see you’ve met my dear brother,” said a cool voice. Rose Lalonde greeted Jade with a polite smile and nod before turning back to John. 

“He stutters when he’s nervous, you know,” she smirked. 

John looked confused. “Okay?... Is there something you want to say?”

“Not particularly. Make of it what you will,” Rose replied, smiling at Jade once more before turning and walking down the hall. 

“Hm. Well. That was weird,” John commented. “Anyway –

Jade giggled. “John, you’re such a doofus sometimes.”

He turned his head, slightly offended. “What do you mean?”

“I meeean,” Jade said, exaggerating her syllables, “Rose doesn’t always communicate directly.” She raised her eyebrows. “Neither does Dave, for that matter. And I could hear enough of your conversation to know that your precious nerd was stuttering. A lot.” 

John’s cheeks tinged red. “Wait, so do you think…?”

“Yes, I think, you doof,” Jade said, smacking him lightly on the back of the head. “Do you think he just invited you over after talking to you for two minutes for no reason? You’d better meet him tomorrow and report to me every detail, so I can prove to you he likes you. I’m sure of it now.” 

John sighed happily. “Yeah. Okay.”

And as the first bell of Chemistry rang, and he was marked tardy once again, all John could think of was excitement for the time he would soon spend with Dave.


	4. Chapter 4

Not for the first time, John was very impatient for the school day to be over. Each minute passing felt like an hour. The clock’s hands seemed to drag on more slowly than usual, eternally delaying his progress. John felt like banging his head against a wall. 

Dave was surrounded by a group of people during English, and during the other classes John shared with him, he felt too shy to go and talk to the boy he would soon be seeing. Which he knew was dumb, but whatever. Sue him. He was nervous. 

John tried to look on the bright side. Perhaps it was better this way. It did add a certain element of suspense. It wasn’t necessarily enjoyable, but at least it prevented him from doing anything stupid this early. 

He tried to plan out what he would say to pass the time. There would be ‘hello’s, and ‘what’s up’s, and then they would leave. John wondered what Dave’s house looked like. Probably all modern and cool, he thought. 

They would sit down… somewhere. Did Dave have a couch? They would brainstorm ideas, writing down concepts and angles and plans. John would be sitting next to Dave, and they would be so close, John might just be able to inch his hand closer to Dave’s and…

John mentally reprimanded himself. He wasn’t going to try anything tonight. He wasn’t going to do anything that could scare Dave off. He was just a normal, straight dude who was helping out a classmate. A classmate he did not have a crush on, no sir. 

He suddenly realized that Rose would most likely be there as well. Maybe not in the same room as them, but somewhere in their vicinity. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Rose was hard to read, and in all honesty she made John a bit uncomfortable. Maybe it was the fact that she was out. He wondered how she was able to stay so confident. She wasn’t the most popular, but somehow she held her own. She was respected. 

And then there was what she had said the day before. John still didn’t know what to make of it. It seemed obvious what she was implying, but it couldn’t be true. If Dave did have a secret, would Rose really give it away so easily? Or was she just fooling with him? She was awfully sarcastic. And she could probably tell he was gay. But she had been in the same boat as him, once. Why would she play such a joke? 

All he knew was that he hoped he and Dave could be alone. John reminded himself not to imagine things that couldn’t happen. No hand-holding would take place. Nothing more intimate than a fist bump. He would not slowly lean in, and…

John tried to tell himself, yet again, not to imagine things that would never ever happen. It would only get his hopes up. 

But if they were guaranteed never to happen, why not imagine them, just for the satisfaction? Dave would never know. 

John gave in, and sank into blissful daydreams. 

 

Once it was last period, John could hardly sit still. He was itching to leave. When the bell rang, he would be out the door in an instant. 

Yesterday, when talking to Dave, he had wished they had more time. Now he wanted school to be over as soon as possible. Romance was so contradictory. 

John sat, tapping his pencil on his desk, stopping only when he was glared at by a classmate. The teacher droned on. He was saying something about how humans had developed socially since the 1800’s. John wasn’t really listening. Their history professor, Mr. Vantas, was the type to hold a class after the bell had rung because he wasn’t finished with a tangent yet. John prayed today he would just shut up and let them leave. 

When the bell rang, John’s heart skipped a beat. It was almost time! He looked up anxiously at the teacher, who was still rambling obliviously. He didn’t appear to be wrapping up his speech, either. John would raise his hand and ask to go, but that was likely to just begin another rant.

John’s heart sank. How long would it be until he could leave? What if Dave got tired of waiting and just left? What if he did wait, but they couldn’t find each other? 

There was a knock on the door. John glanced at it with a sigh, before doing a double take.

Through the glass window that made up the upper half of the door, John could see Dave, who waved to him. John smiled. 

Mr. Vantas appeared not to have noticed the interruption, so Dave simply opened the door and stuck his head in.

“Hey, Vantas. You know what’s over besides the 1800’s? This class. So I’m just gonna steal one of your students and set the rest free, k? Good.”

Dave pushed the door open, and the students looked up from their various stages of stupor. Someone tentatively pushed back their chair, and in an instant everyone was up and out the door, pushing past a bristling Mr. Vantas. Some offered Dave high fives, laughing and conversing with their friends in the rush to the hall. 

Once everyone had cleared out, John’s teacher started to lecture Dave, but didn’t get the chance to begin. Once John had seen the man angrily open his mouth he had ushered Dave quickly out the door. 

“Thanks for the rescue,” John said, smiling. “I might have never escaped if it weren’t for you.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured,” Dave answered, beckoning for John to follow him down the hall. “Earlier I remembered hmm, I probably need to know what class John has last period if I’m gonna pick him up. So I asked your sister, and she said you had Vantas, and I was like oh shit. Gotta save John from the en-endless monologues.”

“I’m glad you did. So, we’re going to your house?” John asked. He was surprised he was able to speak so normally over the sound of his heart pounding. 

“Mhm. Kanaya’s coming over today too, but she’ll probably just stay in Rose’s room.” Dave adjusted his sunglasses. “That doesn’t weird you out or, or anything, right?”

John shook his head. “No, no! That’s fine. Super fine. So it’ll just be us?”

“Yeah. The house is… kinda a mess. Just be prepared. I’ll try to clear off some stuff from the couch for us.” Dave looked uncomfortable. “Also, try no-not to get too freaked by the random shit lying around. Rose puts her crap everywhere and our dad is just… Hard to describe.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Dave,” John said reassuringly. “My house is really strange too. For the longest time my dad thought I liked clowns for some reason, and he like, went apeshit with the decorating and put them all over the house.”

Dave laughed out loud. “Why did he think that?”

“I don’t know!” John said, laughing with him. “It was the weirdest thing. There were statues and pictures and stuff like that everywhere. I just got him to take it all down like a year ago.”

“Mine’s kinda like that, but with puppets. And not because he thought I liked them, he just fucking loves puppets. They’re everywhere,” Dave admitted. “I’ll try to hide the more disturbing ones before you can see them.” He pushed open the door to the school, and held it so John could walk through. 

John smiled at Dave, and thanked him with a nod. “Nah, it’s cool. I get it. And like, it doesn’t really matter, we’ll be too busy to be critiquing your dad’s interior decorating.”

“Yeah, right. The project.” Dave said, as if just recalling the reason they were together. “So, I was looking at movie tropes earlier when I was try-trying to come up with some new rhymes, right? And I got an idea for my concept!”

John raised his eyebrows. “Let’s hear it, then!”

Dave put up his hands dramatically. “So, I was thinking… time. And I could do a timelapse at school, and take shots of like, kids versus adults, and do a bunch of cool stuff.”

“That sounds awesome!” John exclaimed. “And you could totally expand on it, too! You could have close-ups on certain people in between timelapse bits and have a voiceover talking about how the school year flies by, and I could ask Jade about some timey formulas you could superimpose onto cool parts, and we could film in slow-mo during a sports game and show the ball traveling…”

John almost forgot to swoon over Dave as they talked, he was so immersed in the conversation. But not completely. He still noticed the way Dave smiled so much more when he got into a topic he enjoyed. How he was so much more talkative and expressive than he was at school. How his cheeks tinged pink with excitement and he tripped over his own words. 

As they talked, they passed from the neighborhood around their school into a more urban area. In no time they were discussing things apart from just Dave’s assignment.

“What do you mean you don’t like Con Air?” John said indignantly. “It’s like, the best movie ever!”

Dave arched an eyebrow. “Dude, Nic Cage sucks.”

“You don’t get to talk to me anymore.” 

“Aw, come o –

“Nope I’m not listening! I’m not! Nic Cage is awesome and I’m not listening to you you’re just a hater!”

If they had been filming their conversation, John would have looked back and marveled at how quickly the time did fly. The trip to Dave’s house wasn’t the shortest, but it felt no longer than walking down the hall at school, they had so much to discuss. 

John wished he had approached Dave earlier. He was remarkably easy to talk to, and his every word took John’s breath away. He was witty, and could make John laugh. And so attractive. And he seemed to genuinely enjoy John’s company, which was another small miracle. 

They arrived at Dave’s house, or rather, apartment, to find an unlocked door. 

“Rose must be home already,” Dave said, swinging the door open. “Down that hall is her room. Don’t go in there. But you shouldn’t have to, I think the cleanest place right now is actually my room. Come on.” 

John was glad Dave was in front of him so he couldn’t see John blush. 

He followed Dave into the room, which was about the same size as, if not a little smaller than, his own at home. There was a TV against one wall, and a window on another. Beside the third wall was Dave’s bed, covered in CD’s and what appeared to be storyboards. Dave cleared away some of the junk and sat down.

“So this is what I was thinking for the opening,” Dave said, pointing at a board, where he had sketched a pair of feet on a sidewalk. “I’m not a good artist, but you get the point. I’m gonna film your, or you can film my feet, from the back, walking down this sidewalk. And we can speed up the footage from here to school and change the angle a bunch of times on the way, and it’ll look cool. Then we can have a timelapse of the front hall set up from morning until the end of the day. After that, that’s when we start using effects and stuff.”

John nodded. “So, here,” he pointed at a spot on the board. “Should we put the stuff from sports there? I think there’s a soccer game next week we could go to.” He sat down next to Dave, the mattress creaking while he positioned himself. He reached across the storyboard to point at a sketch. “And we can do individual shots here, around the, hmm, would this be around the one minute mark?”

Dave nodded. The two of them continued planning out shots for a long time, discussing angles and camera pans and zooms, and places and times they should meet to take videos. 

“I can’t believe you aren’t in media,” Dave shook his head in wonder. “You’re awesome at this.”

John smiled and ducked his head. “I’m not as good as you. You’re the genius behind all this. And besides, if I were in your class, I wouldn’t be helping you like this.”

“True,” Dave agreed. “I wish we did have more classes together, though. I didn’t realize you were so… cool.”

John’s heart fluttered. “Yeah, same. I knew how cool you were though. You have so many friends!”

Dave made a face. “Nah. They just think I’m funny, or they want me to make them a remix or something. None of them really like me that much. My only friends are Karkat, Dirk, Rose, and you, honestly.”

“Few friends is better than none,” John said encouragingly. “And… I’m glad you consider me a friend.” He hoped his intense blushing wasn’t a dead giveaway. 

Dave nodded, slightly embarrassed. “Yeah. Same. So, uh… You know how I do remixes, and rapping and stuff?”

John nodded back, feeling a bit foolish. He felt like whatever Dave said, he would shake his head enthusiastically. He probably looked really stupid. 

“Good, well. Um…” Dave turned a bit red. “My friend Dirk, well, I guess he’s more like an adoptive brother, he’s a se-senior and he’s having a party soon. He said I could DJ for him, s-so, would you… Would you want to come and see? 

John smiled from ear to ear, forgetting to be self-conscious. “Yeah! I’d love that! I’ve never really been to a party before, so that’ll be cool, and it would be awesome to see you!” John imagined himself and Dave, at a party together. This was too good to be true. He looked away so Dave wouldn’t see his red face, and his eyes fell on the alarm clock next to the bed. He startled.

“Oh, crap! It’s already 5:30!”

Dave looked over at the clock, then back at John with a grin. “Time flies.”

John laughed, but then became serious again. “I’m sorry, but if I want to get home on time I should probably go. I am really sorry.”

Dave shook his head. “No, its fine! Um, do you want to get together again soon to start shooting?”

John tried to keep a serious expression, but a grin crept onto his face. “Would… Tomorrow be okay? It’ll be Friday, so I can stay longer.”

“Yeah, that sounds cool. Do you need a ride home?” Dave asked, pushing his bangs out of his face. 

“I… yeah,” John confessed. He didn’t remember the route they had come from, and any excuse to spend more time with Dave was top priority to him.

“Come on, then. I’ll go with you on the bus, it’ll be faster,” Dave smiled, indicating for John to follow him. 

They passed Rose and a girl who John assumed was Kanaya in the living room. It almost appeared that Rose gave him the smallest of winks. But she was busy talking quietly with Kanaya, so it couldn’t have been.

John and Dave sat in silence for most of the bus ride, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. They just looked at each other, until one of them would smile and they would both laugh. 

When they got to a stop near John’s house, John stood up, looking down at the sitting Dave. 

“Well, thank you, Mr. Strider, for a lovely evening,” John said graciously.

“You are most welcome, and I extend an invitation for another tomorrow night,” said Dave, mimicking John’s tone. 

John laughed. “Thank you once more. I hope to once again enjoy your company.” He reached out to give Dave a fist bump, but Dave took hold of his outstretched hand and placed a soft kiss on it. John’s eyes widened.

He pulled away, and with a quick “See you tomorrow!” hurried off the bus so Dave wouldn’t notice his hyperventilating. 

He sped down the street, pulse elevated not just from the exercise. He stopped on the sidewalk in front of his house. 

Dave had kissed him. No, they were playacting, they were having a joke, it wasn’t serious, Dave had kissed him. 

John quietly stepped inside, and hurried up to his room so his father wouldn’t spot his burning cheeks. After a long time lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling and grinning, his heartbeat slowed a bit.

Something was different now. Something felt changed. Dave was certainly a much different person than John had expected, but not in a bad way. It was good. He knew after tonight his crush on Dave had only grown. He was just so wonderful.

John knew in the back of his mind that by getting so attached to Dave he was only leading himself down the path to heartbreak. 

But he just couldn’t help himself.


	5. Chapter 5

Why hadn’t he said anything?

John looked anxiously at Dave. They had been making eye contact across the aisle off and on for the past few minutes, but neither of them had attempted to start a conversation. John felt like he had done something wrong, and it worried him. He scooched his chair closer to Dave’s desk. 

“Hey… Dave?” John said tentatively. “Are we still on for tonight?”

Dave glanced at him. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, we are.”

Silence fell between them. John tried to think of something to say. 

“So when’s that party you mentioned?” 

“Oh, its, uh… It’s tonight, actually. You coming?” Dave almost sounded surprised. 

“Of course I am!” John said, letting his concern show. “Dave, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Dave answered. He drummed his fingers on the top of his desk. His eyebrows creased slightly, and he opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by another classmate. 

“Hey bro, heard you was doin’ the music for some wicked shindig the dude with the motherfuckin triangle shades is all up and havin tonight. Could –

Dave turned away from John. Disappointed, John moved his chair back to its regular position. 

When he exited the class, he must have looked depressed, as Jade approached him. 

“Hey. What’s up? You look kinda down in the dumps,” she said sympathetically. “Did something happen with Dave?”

John sighed. “I think something must have. He’s hardly talking to me, and yesterday went so well.”

Jade’s eyes widened. “Oh, did it? You didn’t tell me anything yet!”

John recalled shutting himself in his room for most of the night after he and Dave had hung out. “Oh yeah. I didn’t, did I.”

“So you have to tell me!” Jade said eagerly. 

“Well, we didn’t do much, really. We just sat on the bed – Jade stop making eyebrows at me, and worked on planning his project. We’re gonna start filming in a little while, and I’m going to a party with him tonight,” John said with a shrug. 

“You’re going to a party with him?” Jade said with a squeal. “Oh my gosh, this is perfect!”

“Yeah, I… You know what, Jade? I think he might actually… Y’know. Like me. But I can’t know for sure, he’s so ironic all the time, and if he doesn’t then, just, ugh,” John fretted. 

“Last night, we were having a joke, right? We were being all overly formal, ‘thank you mister strider,’ and all that jazz. And it was all going well and hilarious and I was about to leave and…” John looked away. “And he kissed my hand,” he said very quietly, half hoping she wouldn’t hear him. 

Jade bit back a smile. “I’m sorry, what did you just say? I think I must have misheard.”

“He kissed my hand,” John mumbled.

Jade held up a hand and took a deep breath. “WEE WOO, WEE WOO,” she shouted. “GAY ALERT! WE HAVE A CODE RAINBOW HOMOSEXUAL!”

“Not so loud!” John shushed her, glancing around nervously. A couple of people nearby gave her weird looks, but she was mostly unheard over the din of classes changing. 

“John, you can’t even deny it,” Jade insisted. “He’s gay. There is no way a straight guy would ever do that. Like, ever. Guys are so obsessed with their ‘no homo’ images, they wouldn’t do something like that even as a joke.”

“But Dave isn’t like other guys,” John argued. “He takes jokes really seriously. Irony is his life, you know that. You really think he wouldn’t act as a knight in shining armor if someone else was acting too?”

“Still,” Jade said stubbornly. “He totally likes you.”

“Then why isn’t he talking to me?” John said, his voice raising out of frustration. He glared at Jade in silence. She leaned back a bit, looking scared and apologetic. 

Upon seeing her reaction, John’s angry expression quickly melted away and was replaced with one of dejection. 

“Jade, why isn’t he talking to me?”

She put an arm around his shoulder. “It’s okay, John. I forgive you for your adolescent behavior towards your sister who has done nothing but try to help you.”

“Oh… Sorry,” John said ashamedly. 

“Its okay! No biggie,” she reassured him. “But let’s think about this. What did you do after he kissed you?”

“Well, he didn’t ki – 

“He kissed your hand that’s good enough now shush and let me help you succeed in romancing the nerd of your dreams,” Jade said in one long run-on sentence. “Now. What did you do after he kissed you?”

“I, uh,” John said, trying to remember. “I think I was trying not to do anything embarrassing so I was just like ‘see you tomorrow’?”

Jade gave a sigh of realization. “And in that, you did something stupid,” she said, smiling sadly at John. “He’s going to think you don’t like him now.”

“What?” John protested. “What do you mean? Why?”

“Do you really not see it?” Jade glanced up at one of the bells stationed in the hall, sure to ring any minute. “Well, basically he probably was doing it to scope how interested you were. If you left right away he probably thinks he weirded you out and you’re not interested. He also probably is scared to talk to you now in case you’re mad or you figured out what he was doing.” The bell rang, and Jade winced. “Okay, I’ve gotta go but, talk to him! Tell him it’s okay. I’m positive he likes you so just go for it and I’ll see you later!”

And with that, she flew off down the hall. John stared after her, reeling from the possibility that Dave really liked him, and also at the task before him. Jade had a knack for knowing everything about everyone before they knew it themselves, and if she believed Dave liked John, there had to be a reason. And that meant he would have to talk to Dave. And possibly confess his feelings. 

Which was something he was not capable of doing. 

For the rest of the school day, John worried. And fretted. And worried some more. He couldn’t figure out how he was going to tell Dave. Any plans he might make could go awry if Dave said something unexpected, or, god forbid, Jade was wrong after all. 

John ended up waiting until the very end of the school day to even say a word to Dave. Surprisingly, he still showed up at John’s last class to pick him up. 

“Hey Dave!” John said with a smile. He tried to make his attitude radiate “everything is fine.”

“Are you okay with helping set up for the party?” Dave asked, ignoring john’s greeting. 

John nodded. “Totally! Should be fun.”

“Ok, good,” Dave said, obviously relieved. “I was a little worried about that, cause I already promised Dirk I would, and I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about forced manual labor.”

“I will do all the forced manual labor that is required of me!” John gave a thumbs-up. 

After that, Dave seemed to breathe easier, and they were able to converse more normally. Had Jade been present, she would have said Dave was making an excuse for his behavior that morning so he could pretend nothing had happened between him and John. 

“Did you remember your camera?” Dave checked as they walked down the street. 

John nodded. He had been able to borrow a good camera from his dad so they could get some footage from the party. 

“Did you remember your… stuff? That you need?” John tried. He knew absolutely nothing about DJ-ing, but Dave appeared to know everything there was to know. 

“Yes, I remembered my stuff that I need,” Dave said, his tone indicating that he was rolling his eyes. Probably. Damn those shades! “It’s all at Dirk’s already, I wouldn’t be able to carry it myself.” They turned a corner. The buildings around them seemed familiar. John recognized one ahead of them as Dave’s.

“Will you be taking song requests?” John said, seemingly indifferent. 

“Yeah, I will. What do you want me to play?” Dave asked. 

“Will you play How Do I Live Without You?” said John, still nonchalant. 

“I haven’t heard of it – wait. Isn’t that the song from that one Nic Cage movie?” Dave said suspiciously. 

John giggled. “Uhhhh, maybe?”

“I can’t even believe you,” Dave said with a shake of his head. “I generously give my peers the opportunity to play their favorite jams and what do they ask for? Nic Cage songs. Unbelievable.”

“I will pay you to play it. As the last song. I will actually, literally pay you,” John said though his laughter. 

“An honorable DJ does not accept bribes,” said Dave, offended. “How much are you offering?”

“One million dollars,” John said dramatically. “That is your reward.” 

Dave held the door open for John as the entered his building. “Well, that’s an offer I just can’t turn down. I’ll do it, but only for the cash. You’d better pay up as soon as the last wavering note of that song pierces the air, got it?”

John nodded. “You got it.”

They hung around Dave’s apartment for a few hours, Dave showing John the ins and outs of his home. He had to admit, Dave’s dad’s thing for puppets was a little strange. But John was no one to judge.

They avoided Rose for most of the evening, until Dave had to go and tell her to “shut up on that violin for a bit we’re trying to maintain a conversation without ear damage”. Then they had to move to the other end of the apartment because Rose only played louder. 

Eventually, the time came for them to leave for the party. Dave reminded John to take his camera, and his dance moves, and they set off. 

Dirk’s house was similar to Dave’s, in that it wasn’t really a house. They lived in apartment buildings that were practically right next to each other, and the layout within the two buildings was almost identical. Dave knocked on the door that had to belong to Dirk, and let himself in when it appeared to be unlocked. 

“Hey bro,” he yelled from the doorway. “You here?”

“No, I’m on a planet in another universe,” a voice responded, muffled by distance. 

Dave motioned for John to come on in. “Remember I told you I was bringing someone? Well I did. Also where the hell are you?” Dave asked loudly. 

“Right here.” A boy popped his head into the hall from an adjacent room. He was blond like Dave, and he too wore shades, though they were shaped differently. “I was actually setting up your stuff, so be grateful and shit.”

At this moment he seemed to notice John. “Oh, hey. You’re the Egbert kid, right? I’ve heard a lot about you.” Dirk wiggled his eyebrows at Dave, who shoved past him into the room. 

Dirk stuck out his hand to John, who took it and shook. Immediately after taking his hand he wanted the handshake to be over. Dirk’s hands were bone-crushingly strong.

Noting John’s pained expression, Dirk withdrew his hand. “Oops. Sorry. I make a robots a lot, and you have to carry a lot of heavy metal and stuff?” Dirk smiled apologetically. “Sorry.” John shook his head, saying it was fine. 

Inside the room behind them, Dave was inspecting his gear. John looked in and wondered what it was all for. 

“Hey, Dave, bro, I got this. Why don’t you and John go do the decorations?” Dirk suggested, taking a piece of equipment away from Dave. 

“Dirk, I can set up my own stuff,” Dave replied, a note of warning in his voice. Dirk raised an eyebrow. Something seemed to pass between them. 

“Oh, fine. You’re awful, you know that?” Dave sighed, relinquishing the piece to Dirk. “So what are we putting up?”

“There’s some lights in my room you can rig up in the corner, and there’s food to put on the black table, which I’m pretty sure is in the spare room,” Dirk said, now immersed in untangling a pile of cords. 

Dave nodded and led John to the area they would be decorating. 

“Sorry about that,” Dave apologized. 

“No, really, it’s fine,” John said with a smile. “So shall we set up?”

Over the course of the next 45 minutes, they managed to make the main room look slightly festive. Dave reassured him that it would look cooler after dark, when they could turn the lights on. 

“They flash and they’re all different colors. We’ll have our own mini rave,” he said confidently. “And there’s food, so, automatic awesomeness.”

“Oh! I almost forgot,” said John, hurrying back to the doorway to get to his backpack. “We have to put up the camera.”

Dave snapped. “Yes. The final ingredient.” 

Together they put the camera on the counter on one side of the room, making it as unnoticeable as they could. John pressed record, and they were all set. One of them would check on the camera periodically throughout the night, making sure it hadn’t been knocked over or blocked. 

Rose and her girlfriend were the first to show up. Kanaya shook John’s hand warmly, and reassured him she didn’t bite. Rose nodded to him politely, which for her was as loving as you could get. 

Unless you were Kanaya, of course, to whom Rose behaved perfectly affectionately to. The two of them stood by the counter, talking, while they waited for everyone else to arrive. 

When there was a significant amount of people crammed into the rather small apartment, John began to realize he was at an event for the cool people. He only recognized a few people from his grade, including Dave, Tavros and Gamzee, and Rose and Kanaya. The rest appeared to be juniors and seniors. 

John felt slightly out of place in this crowd of people who all knew each other. They had no doubt been to many gatherings like this before, and knew how to socialize. He didn’t.

After a while, Dave came over to be with him.

“Sorry, Dirk had me saying hi to everyone,” he said, leaning against the counter next to John. “A nightmare, honestly. Damara and Cronus were both eyeing me.”

John had no idea who these people were, but he nodded just the same. “Everyone here is so… I don’t know. Comfortable. It’s like everyone has someone.”

“Well, you’ve got me,” Dave said, looking over to John.

“Yeah, but, they all know each other so well. It’s like everyone is either best friends or dating. I’m not a part of that, you know?” John tried to convey what he was feeling. 

“Yeah…” Dave’s voice trailed off. “You could be, though. You’re cool, everyone would like you. And you could basically have anyone you wanted, let’s be real. I’m surprised all the girls aren’t all over you.” Dave laughed, but it seemed forced. 

“Mm. They aren’t. The only person who’s ever been all over me is you, haha. But maybe that means there’s hope. Know any cute girls with low standards you could introduce me to?” John meant to say this as a joke, but as soon as he said it he knew it had come out wrong. 

“Nah.” Dave’s expression hardened a bit. “You should talk to some people, though. Make friends. I can’t be your only one.” 

John tried to smile, but couldn’t. Dave had already left. 

Shit. He had really messed this up, hadn’t he. 

John went over to check on the camera, giving himself a distraction. It was undisturbed. He sighed, and almost wished someone had knocked it over, so he could tell them off. 

Migrating over to a quiet corner, John sat down, depressed. If Jade were here, she could have stopped him from sounding so disinterested. But she wasn’t. She didn’t have the status to be here. And really? Neither did John. 

He stayed in his corner for a long time, seeing Dave in the crowd every once in a while. They made eye contact once, or at least he thought they did, but Dave looked quickly away. The last time John had seen him, he appeared to be arguing with Dirk about something. 

He wondered where he was now. If he could apologize without making everything between them awkward. Probably not. Dave would just wait for it to blow over and talk to John on Monday, hopefully not scared completely away. 

If he even liked John, who found himself suddenly doubting Jade. Dave would be here for John if he liked him. He wouldn’t leave him alone in this place full of people he didn’t know. He wouldn’t…

A loud whoop came from someone near him. John looked up.

The crowd parted just enough for him to see Dave and a girl with black hair and glasses in a tight embrace, kissing in front of everyone. She ran her fingers through his hair, and he smiled. 

If Dave liked John, he certainly wouldn’t do that. 

John found himself standing up, walking away. He felt like he was walking through a dream. He passed people, some who he knew, without noticing anyone.

He had known something like this would happen. But he had allowed himself to hope. Stupid, stupid, stupid! After taking his bag, he reached for the doorknob.

Damn. He’d forgotten. As quickly as he could he went back to the counter and grabbed his camera. Taking it would mean they wouldn’t get the amount of footage they – he. Dave had wanted. There wasn’t a ‘we’ anymore. 

But John couldn’t leave it, so, stopping the recording, he shoved it into his bag. 

On his way out the door, John almost turned around. He thought someone had called his name. But no one here would know him, much less care if he left. 

He walked home, left alone with his thoughts. He would have to tell Jade she was wrong. Not tonight, but eventually. She would probably insist he was the wrong one, but he would know better. 

He’d known all along. 

He had known Dave wasn’t interested, that he should stay away, that nothing would come of this. Usually when you are proven right you feel proud, triumphant.

Instead, living with his bitter victory, he wished nothing more than to have been wrong.


	6. Chapter 6

“You getting up, John?” Jade peeked through an opening in John’s bedroom door. “Come on. School time. Wakey wakey eggs and bakey.”

John groaned. He lifted the covers just enough to stick out a certain finger at Jade, who huffed in response. 

“What happened Friday night?” Jade asked. She came and sat down on John’s bed. “Do you want to talk about it?” John’s only response was covering his head with a blanket and turning away.

“Oh, come on. I know something’s up,” she persisted. “But whatever it is, you still have to get up.”

A sigh emanated from the blanket pile. “Five minutes?”

“Okay, but it’s your fault if we’re late.”

John heard the door close as Jade left the room. After a few moments he drew his head out from under the covers. As much as he would like to remain buried in comfort for the rest of the day, the school system had other ideas. 

Friday night, he had lain in bed, depressed, until he had fallen asleep. He had been in a slump ever since then. Maybe he could fake being sick? Nah, his dad would see through him, and then he’d have to deal with stern fatherly disapproval on top of everything else. 

Ugh. He had messed up. Jade had specifically told him Dave was probably feeling self-conscious, and what did John do? Remind him of it. 

Now that he was sure Dave wasn’t interested, he realized how awkward it had probably been. He resolved not to trust Jade’s intuition so easily anymore. She may be spookily correct on many matters, but her methods weren’t foolproof. 

John tossed his blankets to the side and swung his feet over the edge of the bed. He wondered if he could still apologize to Dave.

No. It was definitely too late. He had made Dave uncomfortable, been totally awkward, and then suddenly left. 

Oh, god. He was going to have to talk to Dave. He had forgotten about the camera. Dave would certainly have noticed its disappearance. 

John rubbed his eyes and stood up, groping at the top of his dresser for his glasses. A knocking came at his door, nearly startling him into poking himself in the eye while he put them on. 

“Oh, good. You’re up,” Jade smiled. “Dad had to leave early for work and I forgot to get up and make breakfast. I hope you like granola bars!”

John nodded, grabbing a clean shirt and shorts out of his drawer. “We’re taking the bus, then?”

“Yep. I’ll wait for you but you have to hurry up!” was the answer John received, before hearing the sound of Jade going back downstairs. 

He met her in the kitchen, and they had time only to grab a few granola bars each before they were out the door. 

“So,” Jade said as they walked down the street to the bus stop. “Do you want to tell me what happened? You’ve been so quiet all weekend.”

John shook his head. “No. I just know Dave isn’t interested now.”

Jade looked hesitant, but kept her mouth shut. “Okay. Sounds like you’re pretty sure.” She linked arms with John. “It’s alright. You can’t win every time.”

John nodded. “Yeah… I guess not. Thanks for trying to make it work.”

“You’re welcome. I just want to see you happy. In all due time I’m sure I’ll end up playing matchmaker with you again!” Jade tried to reassure him.

John didn’t really want to talk about it anymore, but he appreciated his sister’s efforts. “Speaking of which, how are things with Karkat?”

“Shut up. I don’t even like him,” Jade rolled her eyes. “I mean, not really.”

“Sure you don’t,” John said, raising an eyebrow. “Suuuure.”

“I will fire you from your position as my matchmaking partner,” Jade threatened. “I –

The yellow school bus pulled up alongside the curb. “No you won’t!” John said as he climbed aboard, heading to their usual seat in the back.

“I will!” she called after him.

During the ride to school, Jade filled John in on all the drama that had happened while he was preoccupied with Dave. The two of them used to sit and gossip all the time, and since they weren’t important enough to cause social trouble, no one noticed or cared. Jade would get all the romantic information she needed from her friend Nepeta, and she herself would provide all the other details. 

John sometimes felt bad for talking about everyone, but most of the time there was a thrill to knowing everyone’s secrets. That was especially true now. There was no better cure for heartbreak than to hear about everyone else’s. 

“And Kurloz got caught dealing again,” Jade continued. “But somehow he got off. Tav said he’ll be back in school soon.”

When they finally got to school, John found himself feeling a bit better. He was still upset, and not quite ready to face Dave, but he would be able to get himself under control by the time they saw each other. 

“Hey, Jade! You’re Jade. Right?” a voice called out. John glanced around, and when he located the speaker, he was surprised to see it was Dirk. The sight of him made John tense up a bit. John hoped he wouldn’t have to talk to him.

“Yeah, I’m Jade!” Jade responded, smiling up at Dirk. “And you are?”

“Dirk. Good to meet you, Jade.”

Jade almost stuck out her hand, but John gave her a look that suggested maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. She pretended nothing had happened. “So, am I needed for something?”

“Yeah, actually,” Dirk said, his eyes resting briefly on John. “Can I talk to you a minute? Um, alone?”

If Jade was confused, she didn’t show it. She simply nodded and followed Dirk a few feet away, where they began whispering fervently to each other. John thought they both looked at him once, but they quickly resumed their conversation before he could be sure.

The first bell rang before they finished, and Jade went back over to John so they could walk to class. He waited for her to explain.

“So… What was all that about?” 

Jade giggled. “Oh, nothing.”

“Jaaaade,” John protested.

“Come on, we have to get to class,” Jade said, still grinning at him. 

“Jaaaade!”

Though John tried again and again, Jade refused to give up anything she had discussed with Dirk. She would simply smile and shake her head. Eventually John had to give up, but her occasional looking at him and laughing only became more irritating. 

In English, John tried as hard as he could not to look at Dave. He distracted himself with work, only allowing his eyes off his papers to glance at the clock and will the period to be over. 

Every once in a while he could feel someone’s gaze, but he wouldn’t allow himself to look up. He showed remarkable restraint up until the very last few minutes of class. 

“Hey, John.”

John’s head shot up involuntarily, and he found himself staring at Dave. Crap. 

“C’mere.”

John cursed his heart for beating so fast whenever Dave spoke. He was supposed to be getting over Dave. This was not acceptable. 

John followed Dave out the door and to a small alcove in the hallway, where he stopped.

“Why’d you leave on Friday?” Dave asked him. His face revealed nothing, like usual, but his voice betrayed the smallest bit of hurt.

John looked away. “Sorry about the camera. I didn’t mean… I didn’t want to take it like that.”

“What are you –“ Dave started, confused, before realizing what John meant. “Oh. Right. That. Uh, that’s fine. I’m sure we got enough to use. But really. Why did you go?”

“I don’t know. I just felt like I didn’t belong, you know? And I guess I kind of thought you were mad at me,” John said, still avoiding eye contact.

“I just wanted you to have a good time,” Dave tried. “I –

“Then why did you leave?” John retorted, finding himself suddenly a bit angry. Dave couldn’t just desert him and pretend it didn’t happen. He wasn’t going to go for this wait-for-it-all-to-blow-over act of his anymore. “We were talking. I was fine, everything was fine. Then you just blew me off and told me to go talk to other people. What the hell was that?!”

Dave paused before speaking angrily. “Okay, I was mad! You were just going on about how everyone knew each other, why not introduce yourself? And if you’re supposedly not a part of it all, why do you think I brought you? To tell you we’re not friends? Oh, I brought this guy to a party so we can chill together. He interprets that as a sign that he doesn’t belong there. That’s so rational!” 

“Friends don’t blow off friends,” John said fiercely. “Maybe I would have socialized. Maybe I would have felt better, but you wouldn’t know because you just left me to fend for myself. Tip for being nice: don’t do that!”

“Thought you wanted me less ‘all over you’,” Dave said coldly. 

“Dave, I was joking! You’re supposed to be so ironic, but you can’t even tell when someone else is?”

“That’s –

“No,” John interrupted. “You could have said something. You could have just said, in a nice way, hey, I want you to have a good time. Maybe introduce me to a few people. Made me feel like I wasn’t the most insignificant person there. If you want to go be with some girl, or do anything, the polite thing to do is to use your words! Not make me uncomfortable and then make me guilty about it!”

“Who, Jane?” Dave shook his head in disbelief. “Is that what this is about? I don’t even know her! She’s Dirk’s friend, not mine!”

“Didn’t seem like it,” John said, crossing his arms. 

“She’s been flirting with me for months! I can’t help it if she tries to kiss me! Why are you so mad?”

“I’m not even mad about her,” John spat. “Mostly. Mostly I’m mad because you abandoned me, didn’t bother to come back, made me feel like crap, and then had the audacity to wonder why I’m angry.”

“I thought you were busy! I thought you would have come looking for me if you still weren’t having fun!” Dave ran his fingers through his hair. 

“I’m not a social person, Dave, in case you hadn’t noticed. Someone leaves me behind for apparently no reason, I’m not going to go looking, especially not through a crowd, for them.”

“I didn’t know that! I…” Dave sighed. “I didn’t know.”

“Bully for you,” John said, still glaring. 

“John, I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t. I felt so awful, Dave. ‘Sorry’ doesn’t make up for that.” John knew that he was unreasonably upset, but he had so much pent-up frustration, it was all coming out now. “When we first met, I thought you were so cool. We just fit, you know? But ever since that first day you’ve been acting so weird. You’re sensitive and you don’t try to fix your mistakes, you just do things and act like you didn’t, or make excuses. Maybe that’s why you don’t have friends.”

Dave was uncharacteristically quiet. He bit his lip, and there was a tiny waver in his voice when he spoke. 

“I’m still sorry.”

And then John knew he had stepped over the line. All his anger drained away, replaced with regret. He knew he should apologize, but he just couldn’t. Not now. Not now he had destroyed any chance of remaining friends with Dave, all because of a stupid crush and a stupid, stupid overreaction. 

John shook his head helplessly, before turning and walking slowly away. He was long past late for fifth period. But he didn’t care. He didn’t feel like going at all, really. 

He had the feeling Dave was still standing there. Oh, god. John felt sick. What had he done? This was beyond messing up chances of relationships or friendship. He had been seriously mean. What kind of person was he?

John felt sick with guilt.

He wondered if it would be enough to get him sent home.


	7. Chapter 7

“Joooohn. Awaken. Rise.”

John opened one eye to a blurry image of Jade standing over him. 

“Wakey wakey eggs and fakey. I know you’re not sick. Get up!”

John put a pillow over his head. “Go ‘way,” came the muffled sound of his voice. 

“You have to go to school, John,” said Jade crossly. “This isn’t the nineteenth century anymore, you can’t say you’re sick with homosexuality and feeling too gay to get up.”

“Shhhhh,” John mumbled. “I’m asleep.”

“Not anymore!” Jade yanked John’s blankets off his bed and flipped his light switch on. He hissed. 

“Come on. I’ll meet you downstairs. You’d better get up,” Jade warned John before leaving his room. 

Once she was gone, John sighed. He had a long day ahead of him. But at least because they weren’t friends anymore, he wouldn’t even have to try and talk to Dave. 

John sat up and stretched, letting out a small squeak in the process. He considered letting his head fall back onto the pillow once again, but reluctantly decided against it. Jade was right, he should get up. Getting this concerned over romance was for dumb babies. 

John got dressed and quietly shut his bedroom door. On his way down the stairs, he heard Jade’s voice coming from the kitchen. 

“Mmhmm. Ooh. Definitely not good. Oh, wow. Really? Yeah, I think so. But like, nicely. We have to make sure we – yeah.“

John peeked through the door to see Jade talking on her cell phone with someone, balancing it on her shoulder as she pulled a gallon of milk out of the fridge. “Totally. He’s – John!” She startled at the sight of him. “I gotta go,” she said quickly, setting the milk on the table and ending her call. 

“Who were you talking to?” John said curiously. 

“Nobody. Eat your cereal, we have to go,” Jade said, flustered.

“Hmm,” John said, suspicious. He dropped the subject, but resolved to ask her again later. She seemed to be up to something. 

“Anyway,” Jade sat down at the table across from John. “When is that essay for history due?”

“Uh, I think on Thursday,” John answered, getting himself and Jade spoons.

“Crap, I haven’t done it yet!” She hit herself lightly on the forehead. “I’d better start it tomorrow.”

“Cutting it a little close,” John said, swallowing a mouthful of his breakfast. “If you’re late he’ll kill you. Why not today?” 

“Oh, I’ll be busy,” Jade said, distracted. She pulled out her phone again to check the time. “Dang! We need to hurry up.”

When the two of them were finished, and outside waiting for the bus, John debated whether or not to bring up Jade’s secretive actions. He decided once again not to. Maybe if he waited she would explain on her own. She was oddly quiet on the bus, making conversation only over trivial matters. Once she turned suddenly and smiled at John, but most of the ride she spent staring out the window. 

John was surprised to see Dirk waiting for them when they arrived to school. Upon seeing him, Jade waved goodbye to John, and with nothing more than a smile and “I’ll explain later!” she and Dirk hurried away together. 

John spent the day confused, wondering what Jade was up to. When he wasn’t pondering her secrets, he was feeling guilty over how he had ended his fight with Dave. 

John had seen him many times throughout the day, but not said a word. They just ignored each other. John found the silence more depressing even than fighting. 

He also felt the school day to be less enjoyable than it had been. True, when he was distracted with thoughts of Dave his classes were dreadfully long and boring, but now he just couldn’t seem to get interested. He had nothing to look forward to at the end of the day, except to go home and do essentially nothing. This was a problem, as it provided him with no suitable distractions. If he had something he could immerse himself in, his head would have other things to focus on besides guilt and pain. 

He wished Jade would come and talk to him. They could gossip and laugh and talk like nothing was wrong, and after a while, nothing would be. But whenever she was around John, she was either busy talking to Dirk, or furiously writing in a spare notebook.

Through his haze of gloom, John watched the day go by. It was slow, but not agonizing. Soon enough it was almost time to go home. 

In the few minutes of their last class, when they were expected to pack up their things and prepare to leave, Jade finally approached John. 

“Hey. You free today?” she asked him, smiling. 

“Duh,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Just checking,” Jade said airily. “Come with me after we get to go, ok?”

“Why would I not?” John shook his head. “What are you up to?”

Jade opened her mouth, and held it open. After a few seconds the bell rang, and she snapped her mouth shut. “Whoops! Looks like I can’t say,” she giggled over the ringing. 

She grabbed her backpack, and waited for John to do the same before taking his hand and leading him away. “Okay, don’t be mad,” she told him as they walked, looking worried now. “I didn’t think it was a good idea at first, but once I got a better idea of the plan, I… Just trust me on this!”

“Jade, what are you –

“Sorry!”

Before John could react, he was being shoved into an empty classroom by two pairs of hands. As he stumbled into the room, he heard the door click shut and latch. 

He whipped around, and saw Jade and Dirk standing on the other side of the door, looking apologetic. 

“What the hell?!” he shouted, rattling the doorknob. It was locked from the outside. 

“I’m so sorry,” Jade said, looking genuinely upset. 

“Same, but it’s for the good of the both of you,” said Dirk, embarrassed. 

“The…?” 

“Yup. We’re trapped.”

John gulped and turned to the back of the room.

Dave was sitting nonchalantly on a desk, tapping away at his phone. He nodded to John.

“Seems like our siblings are holding a bit of an intervention,” he said calmly. 

John cringed. “Oh, god. I am so sorry. She doesn’t know when to stop sometimes.”

“Nah, it’s cool. I mean, it wasn’t just her.” Dave set down his phone. “So apparently they wont let us out until we make up. Or at least that’s what I thought they said, I was a little busy being forced into a classroom.” 

John sighed. “Really? Are you kidding? Ugh, I’m sorry.” He looked back to the door. “There are other ways of helping besides locking us up, you know!” 

“Don’t act so cool, you’re the one who moped around all day because you two weren’t talking!” Jade called back, her voice muffled but indignation clear. 

Dave let out a quiet breath, which John recognized as laughter. 

“Did you really?”

John blushed. “Uh…” He adjusted his glasses. “Yeah, a little. I felt bad, y’know? I was really mean.”

“Yeah, you were, not gonna lie.”

John’s heart beat fast. He couldn’t bear for Dave to call him out on his behavior, but he knew he deserved it. He sighed. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

“Its okay,” Dave said, sliding smoothly down from his desktop perch. 

“I’m sorry too. I just…”

“You just sulked for days because you pissed off your crush,” Dirk said loudly. 

John’s heart skipped a beat. His… what? The door must have made him mishear. 

“We can leave while you guys have your big reveal, if you like,” Jade said helpfully.

“You can leave my entire life,” John mumbled, his face red. “Yes! Please do go away! That would be very great and cool of you.”

He finally had to look up at Dave, and he was surprised to see the boy sporting a blush to rival his own. 

“Dave?”

Dave tugged at the strings of his hoodie. “Hm?”

John could barely get the words out, his heart was beating so fast. “Dave, did… Do you…”

He could feel himself gravitating towards Dave, but couldn’t stop his feet from taking one slow step closer after another. 

“Do you like me, Dave?” John finally asked, his voice no more than a whisper. They were close now. Close enough to make him want to reach out and pull Dave into his arms, like he had so often dreamed of. Close enough to make his heart leap and his voice waver, his cheeks burning and head spinning. 

“I… yeah,” Dave replied softly. “I’m sorry.”

John smiled. “No, don’t be. I do too.”

“That’s why I acted so weird. I shouldn’t have,” Dave admitted. “I just wasn’t sure.”

“Me neither. And I’m sorry too. “

John reached up and lightly pulled Dave’s glasses off. Dave tensed as they were pulled from his face, but allowed John to set them on the table next to them. 

Dave’s eyes were red. This certainly wasn’t something you saw every day, but John made no mention of it. He simply smiled.

“I can see you better now.”

“And I think we should start over,” John continued quietly. 

Dave nodded. “We can do better this time.” His fingers fluttered around John’s waist. 

“Yeah,” John breathed. “And I think I know where to start.”

His hair was pale blond, sweeping across his forehead in a neat line, perfectly framing the angles of his face that John could finally appreciate. His eyes were red, burning with the passion of a thousand daydreams, igniting a fire in John’s heart. Their color could be considered abnormal, or strange, if they weren’t so beautiful. He was so beautiful. His name was Dave Strider, and he was leaning in close, and John Egbert was kissing him and oh god, it was better than he had ever imagined.

And for that moment, everything in his world of complications was forgotten. 

Everything was perfect.


End file.
